On The Christian Journey

Have you ever been one of “Them?” Some group that has become an object, a stereotype?  Pronouns are funny things. It’s basically impossible not to use the word them. Even within church, groups form. Sunday School classes, committees, subcommittees…  and the one that we are a part of is naturally a “we” and one we are not is naturally a “they.” One committee might ask about another and what “they” want to do… But sometimes assumptions are made and the pronoun “they” becomes a noun - “Them.” It’s even easier when groups have less direct contact. What happens when we begin to make the pronoun into a noun? When it becomes about “Them,” who, of course, are not like “We” are – who don’t understand, whose priorities are all wrong, who do things differently or even believe differently (that is “they are Wrong!”).  What are the criteria by which we declare some group “Them” and another “Us?” What causes one difference to be held up as defining while blinding us to numerous similarities and possibilities? What causes significant differences to be glossed over in a stand against some perceived “other?” It’s easy to start assuming that “We” know that “They” think or want or are planning. We quickly overlook “our” own differences and make both “Us” and “Them” monolithic. Disagreement – which is both natural and often even healthy and creative – becomes “Division” which in my experience is usually destructive, sapping energy, creating bunker mentalities, and breaking communication. Martin Luther King, Jr. famously said: “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” King was a leader who was certainly not afraid to disagree, to demand change, to challenge injustice. But he was different than so many leaders in that he refused to demonize the other. He rejected arbitrary and divisive formulations of both “Them” and “Us.” Despite all that he was subjected to, He refused to allow hate and suspicion to guide his path.  This next couple of weeks, I invite you to pay attention to your own encounter with and experience of the words us and them. When I do this as an intentional exercise, I find myself noticing how quickly communication breaks down, noticing how much energy I spend on stewing about slights real and imagined instead of being constructive. I notice how much energy is spent on heat rather than light the moment I make the subtle shift from them to “Them.” As I study and ponder the scriptures, I think a big part of Jesus’ teaching is about just that shift and how to avoid it.