Positively Independent It's Your Move Work Zone and High Way Groups For Sponsors: Which way are we moving? 1.Why parents limit independence 2.Earn others trust 3.What does the Bible say about independence Which Way Are We Moving Work Zone & High Way Gather in a large group circle: Make any announcements Signup sheets, introductions. Say: To many youth independence can't come soon enough. To your parents, it'll come far too soon. The process of gaining independence is a difficult one that stretches across the teen years. Tonight service is - obeying your parents while learning how to gain independence. Break into Journey groups, Fellowship Hall and Youth Center Moving in Work Zone & High Way Needed: lots-O-sticky nametags and pens. Prep: Before everyone gets to their meeting area, set out the nametags and pens and instruct them before they permanently attach themselves to a seat. Say: On your nametag, create a new name for yourself. These names can be as wild as you want (No vulgarity please). For the duration of this lesson, you'll use these names when talking to each other. Have the youth put on the tags. Say: In the next few minutes, go around introducing yourself to other people. But the trick is - you must create a new identity for yourself. Talk as if you're living on your own - independent from parents and family. Talk about where you live, what you do and how it feels to be independent. Give the youth about three minutes to introduce themselves to each other. If you're leading "Work Zone" form two smaller groups or for "High Way" move to the pit.  Discussion Questions: ·How'd it feel to describe yourself as independent? ·Base on what people talked about, what is independence? ·Would you like having a totally different, independent lifestyle? Why or why not? Say: Though you may wish you could be totally independent today, it's unlikely you'll get that independence for a while. Gaining independence is a process that takes time and patience. Tonight we're going to explore that process and how to earn parent's trust. Moving in Work Zone Give Me Freedom Assign one of your groups to be the "Responsible Freedom" group and the other to be the "Irresponsible Freedom" group. Say: Each of these groups represents a different kind of response to independence. The Responsible Freedom group represents a middle schooler who makes responsible use of his or her freedoms. The Irresponsible Freedom group represents a middle schooler who makes poor decisions regarding his or her freedoms. I'm going to describe situations you might find yourself in. After I read each one, act out a response based on your group's title. You don't have to respond the same as other members of your group. ·Your parents will be out of town for a weekend. They've entrusted the house to you. They said "No parties" while they're gone. What do you do? ·A friend asks you to go to a popular R rated movie. You know you'd have to sneak into the theater, and you have homework you haven't finished that's due tomorrow. What do you do? ·It's five minutes until the time you're supposed to be home. You and your friend have just made it to the next level on the really cool game you've been playing. It takes four minutes to walk home and two if you really run. What do you do? ·It's 9:00 Saturday night and your room is a mess. You promised your parents you'd clean it up today. Your favorite T.V. show is about to come on and you know all the kids will be talking about it at school Monday. The show ends at your bed time. What do you do? Ask: ·What did you notice about how the irresponsible group responded to each situation? ·Who did the responsible group act? To the irresponsible group: ·How did you feel as you acted irresponsibly? ·How's that like the way people feel when they abuse their freedoms in real life? To the responsible group: ·How did you feel as you watched the irresponsible group respond to the situations? ·Did you feel any pressure/desire to act the way the irresponsible group was? Either group: ·Imagine you're the parents of these middle schoolers. Which group would you trust your brand new car to when it comes time to drive? Explain. ·Which group would you feel comfortable giving more independence? Explain. ·Why is it important to be responsible with the freedom you have? Moving in High Way What Independence? Needed: Dry erase markers Assign each youth a number and have them remember it! Say: Going to a movie with a friend is one way you can show your independence, but there are many more ways you can show your independence. When I call out your number, come to the wall and write something youth your age do that shows their independence, such as choosing your own clothes to buy or fixing your own meals. Other youth may call out suggestions, but you don't have to listen to them. Begin calling out numbers at random. After it is apparent that the list is full for now stop. It is okay to call some number more than once. Then have all the youth consider the list. Ask: ·What do you notice about the items on this list? ·How important is independence to you? Explain. ·What freedoms that you would like to have are missing from this list? ·How do you gain new independence? Say: Gaining independence is a big issue, and as important as your freedoms are today, they're going to become even more important as you grow into adulthood. But how do you develop independence without fighting with your parents? That's our focus tonight, let's dig deeper. Moving up Work Zone Grading Independence Needed: Ready for Independence handout, pens Form pairs; give each youth a "Ready for Independence" hand out and a pen. Let them complete the handout. Then ask the youth to share with his or her partner something that makes him or her feel good and something that make him or her feel bad about what they found from the handout. Ask: ·Are you comfortable with you hand out grade? Explain. ·What is one way you can earn you parent's trust next week? For example, "I'll do my chores be for I'm asked to do them." or I'll be sure to come home on time or call if I'm going to be late." Say: Sometimes you can do everything right and still not have the freedom you want. Parents aren't always comfortable giving independence to their kids. If you feel you aren't given enough independence, take your handout home and use it to start a discussion with you parents. Don't start an argument; just be honest, positive and patient. Above all respect your parent's decisions. God's word says the following: Eph 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Eph 6:2 "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), Eph 6:3 "that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth." Moving up High Way Independence Training Needed: Luke 15 handout Have someone read aloud Luke 15:11-32. Ask: ·What'd the prodigal son do with his independence? ·Compare the irresponsible use of freedom by the prodigal son to a time when you were irresponsible. Say: When we act irresponsibly, like the prodigal son, we create an invisible chain around ourselves. Each link represents a time when we acted irresponsibly. As we grow that chain may also grow. You will need to demonstrate responsible acts to remove each link. The thing to remember is, it takes only one instance of irresponsibility to add a link and ten times that in responsible acts to remove just one link. Independence and freedom are natural components of growing up. There are two ways to respond to your current lack of total independence. One is to lash out and struggle against the chain, the other is to stop adding links and work toward removing them. Read: GALATIANS Gal 5:13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love be servants of one another. ·What does this passage say about service and freedom? ·How could being irresponsible destroy your relationship with your parents? Moving on Work Zone Shaping Independence Needed: Sheets of aluminum foil Give each youth a 1X1 sheet of aluminum foil. Have each kid sculpt the foil into something that represents independence, such as a car or a ticket to freedom. Then have each describe his or her sculptor and what it means. Say: Gaining independence is often a long process. You're anxious to gain freedoms, but your parents feel anxious about giving you freedom. With God's guidance and yours and your parents' patience you'll successfully complete the process of becoming independent. Moving on High Way Anything is Possible Read: Phl 4:13 I can do all things in him who strengthens me. Say: Gaining independence is often a long process. You're anxious to gain freedoms, but your parents feel anxious about giving you freedom. How do you manage your freedom? Your parents may not allow a lot of independence right now. Share some ways that parents should recognize your trustworthiness. Allow for some discussion. Say: Remember, God says you must honor your parents and through God you can do all things! You can get along with your parents and you can earn their trust and you can grow in your faith all along the way. Return to the Family Life Center. Form one large circle. Moving out Work Zone & High Way After everyone has gathered in a circle; Say: Would someone like to share a way to gain independence? Wait for some responses. Say: Gaining independence can sometimes seem like a slow process. But by trusting God and having patience, you'll find independence comes at just about the right time. Prayer and Concerns  Road Work & Trek  Say: In closing you are challenged to show your maturity and readiness for more freedom by remaining totally silent for one minute in prayer. Silently ask for God's guidance as you grow towards independence. Join hands, right over left, and say the UMYF benediction